Category: Social Relationships

“I don’t want you to be a dancer. You will have to choose between your dancing and me!”

There has been at least one scenario where a man asks his woman to choose between him and her passion. Usually, the girl has a favorite activity or job or career that conflicts with the interests of his man, making the man to give her the difficult options. A girl once asked in a dating conference, “My boyfriend asked me to choose either him or my passion; what should I do?” In one situation, the girl’s passion is soccer. In another, the lady loves skiing a lot. The boyfriend in each situation would rather break up than have his girlfriend retain her passion. So what should you do? This is rather a very easy choice to make. Choose your passion, and then you will find a man who loves you AND your passion!

Seriously, what sane man would look his wife or girlfriend in the eyes and say “I don’t want you to be a dancer. You will have to choose between your dancing and me!”?! This actually happens. I would immediately choose dancing. Not at all too difficult of a choice. Can you guess what would happen if you decide to choose him over your passion? You will most likely develop a long lasting depression for forcing away your passion. And as days go by, your man will find other things you do that he doesn’t like, and will most likely give you the options of either him or the things you like to do!

Hugs are generally a great way to display affection and mutual relief, and people should make the most of it whenever they have the opportunity.

It is surprising to know that some people still do not know how to hug. The other day, I overheard someone ask how to hug, in a real life counseling conference. Well, I’d rather go on to solve this, rather than to show endless expressions of surprise. I would also like to make it clear that I have a remarkable experience in hugging!

But first, let’s remind ourselves what a hug is. A hug is a near universal form of physical intimacy, in which two people put their arms around the neck, back, or waist of one another and hold each other closely ^[1] . I have observed three types of hug.

Let’s see the three major types of hug:

1. The friendly hug. This is a hug between friends, just to express happiness, welcome, victory, relief or celebration. This is the most popular form of hug. It can also include the group hug, which is just a friendly hug between three or more persons.
2. The hug of intimacy. This one is deeper. It is often longer than the friendly hug, and can involve a little kissing on the cheek. It is mainly between a couple in a romantic relationship, or a natural parental affectionate with own infants or children, or natural affectionate within siblings, or such a natural family affectionate intimacy. Does cuddling count as a hug? You bet it does. It’s a hug of intimacy.
3. The hug of fear, frustration or protection. This is particularly when a couple (either familiar with or strange to each other) are in imminent danger. They are facing a horrible threat or danger, and therefore are trying to gain protection from each other by cuddling (come on, that word shouldn’t be applied to this kind of situation! Oh well). You probably don’t want to learn more about this one, since our scope is to help brighten your day, not dampen it!

So how do you hug?
Although hugs can be made without the couple directly facing each other, it is of my witness that facing each other while hugging is more popular.
I’d like to focus on the hug of intimacy here. Let’s take for example, a hug between a fiance (a guy engaged to marry) and his fiancee (his potential future wife). For this hug to be an intimate one, the girl should put her arms around his man’s back or neck during the hug. The guy should put his arms around her hips. For non-romantically affiliated individuals, or for those who just want to have a non-intimate hug, the guy should put his arms around the female’s back or neck, instead of her hips.

Hugs are generally a great way to display affection and mutual relief, and people should make the most of it whenever they have the opportunity.