It has actually come to seem very difficult to lose your boyfriend. But in reality though, doing just as few as these little things will make your boyfriend dump you for sure.
- Always show up late to all dating arrangements you make with him.
- Whenever he has a “big game” going on, such as the great Superbowl, or some other event he loves, make sure you prevent him from attending or watching it! This one is kinda risky though, but you can do it.
- You should always show up whenever he is hanging out with his male friends. Remember, since you’re his girlfriend it means his whole life must be about you! Don’t let him have a rest with his family members, at all.
- You should always bite your nails in his face. Fart whenever possible. Be yourself all the time, even if you have some odd manners that could be difficult to withstand by an average Joe.
- Keep talking to him about your hair. Keep telling him long stories about your personal adventures. Bore him to sleep everyday.
- Whenever he calls you and makes an appointment with you, you should agree, and then cancel at the last minute before the event. Even more effective — don’t show up and don’t notify him in any way.
- Complain and whine to him whenever you see him around other girls. Remember, you should be the only girl he knows. You know, the day you two agreed to be romantically involved is the day he must disown and denounce his previous female friends.
- Always tell your boyfriend about things you heard about him. Tell him how some people told you they suspect he’s cheating on you (apparently the idiots that tell you these things are jealous of your relationship but who cares).
- Tell a lie to save yourself every single time. Piss him off, then apologize, and then repeat the same wrong you did, then apologize and so on.
- Whenever he advances to you for a romance time, tell him you’re not ready. Do it like eight out of ten times, in fact do it all the time for more effectiveness.
Good luck getting dumped!
Posted with permission from JokeFella.com. Thanks for the laugh, JokeFella!